HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVEBUGS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HANDSOME BOY!!!

Can you believe its been one whole year?!?!

Dean, unfortunately, got to sit in the car from Vegas to Reno for his 1st birthday...poor thing. But I"m hoping when he gets older he'll be proud that his mama did a warrior dash after having had him a year before. I'm pretty proud of that if I do say so myself. More on that later.

We Stoped in Tonapah for lunch and they had a miniature bathroom on display...I couldn't resist.

Dean on the mini toilet. :D

Dean at the wash sing. He had so much fun turning those knobs....but doesn't he look like a little man. so freaking cute!

Dean in an air plane. :D

Some things Dean loves and doesn't love:

Loves:

Bananas, hotdogs, fruit pouches, green beens, sandwiches, noodles, his doggie, playing with the remote

stealing glasses off mommy's face, biting (but he only bites me for some reason..very odd), anything electronic

playing with his sisters, laughing with daddy, taking off his socks, water, pushing the buttons to turn on or off the alarms/lights, closing doors, climbing stairs! making silly faces, making us laugh.

Doesn't love:

Sitting still, not being able to take naps in his bed, having his nose wiped, he does not like it when I make him sign to get or not get something, when his sisters go up to play and close the gate so he can't get upstairs, being told no (of course).

For the most part, Dean is a loving, funny, incredibly funny little guy. He has seven cute teeth, four on top and three on bottom. He does walk, but he would rather do his bear crawl cause he can go faster. Everyone who meets him just loves him so much! I would agree. I cant' stand how much I love this little boy and thank God everyday that he let me have him!

1st day of school

1st day of school. :D

Yesterday was the first day of school, since the kids go on year around we get to start a tad earlier then everyone else. The girls were soooo excited to go back. They are still in that stage where they like school, hopefully it stays that way. Here are some pictures of mine and some of my little brothers and sisters too.



JadaLynn - Ready to head out with the big kids! She's so cute!




Gabriel soooo excited about class. This is is 'cheese' smile. I love it!




Eric going into third grade. That backpack is humangous! I don't remember them being that big!




Breana - I told her to pose and she did this thug pose. LOL cracks me up.
Every time I see this picture I start singing 'its a hard knock life' lyrics in my head.




Bethanie - I said smile like ten times and finally she said "mom I am!" .....oh. hehe




Juliet - So excited! of course she had to accessorize,
she had a flower in her hair and a shiny belt.....that's my girl.




All three - at least two of them looked enthused! LOL Bethanie swears she's smiling.




All of them - two things, one....that is Bethanie smiling and two...
do you totally love Deans photo bomb leg in the corner!?

 I can't believe they are growing up so fast. I never i a million years thought I would be sending off three kids to the same school year but that's the way life is. You think you have it figured out and then it throws you a curve ball. Its tiring, frustrating at times, but oh so interesting and super fun and definitely keeps me on my toes. :D

Nine Months

Dean turned nine months on the 21st of July.

Can you believe its been NINE MONTHS?! He's such a cutie and he personality is outstanding!

I just can not get enough of this little boy!

I found him like this one morning a week or two back. I did the stand and stare to make sure he wasnt' dead. And can I tell you he was furious with me when I unwound him!



He is definitely my son. Although it really doesn't show, I am the healthy eater in the family. Look how he smiles while eating his broccoli. :D




This one cracked me up because he had it just hanging out of his mouth while looking around.




munchin on the broccoli.




Look at that face. How can you not adore that face?!




He's looking like such a big boy lately. Its both amazing and sad to me.

Dean loves to crawl around, he hardly ever goes on his knees but prefers to 'bear crawl' which is walking on his feet and hands. Its so funny. I'll have to post a video of it soon. He also taken to standing on his own for a few seconds at a time. at first he was using other things to get up but yesterday he pushed himself up and stood there.....I see walking in our near future.
He has a healthy appetite still and is built! He's 21 pounds already. :)
Dean had blond hair and still has beautiful storm grey eyes. I keep praying and hoping they stay grey. He loves to smile and laugh and flirt.
Dean has three teeth. His two top front teeth and bottom left tooth. Its adorable.
He absolutely loooves his Tanner. He follows him around and crawls on him and sits next him while he plays. Tanner acts like he gets annoyed but when Dean goes off and does his own thing Tanner comes and lays next to him or nudges him so he'll come play. Dean loves his sisters too, he thinks they are super funny. and of course he loves his daddy. he likes to sit in his lap while Brian does computer stuff. But he is definitely a momma's boy, everyone will tell you.....and I absolutely love it! I love that he HAS to be in the same room as me, that he wants to sit in his highchair while I cook. That he wants me to be on the floor with him while he plays, just in case he wants to show me something or crawl on me (I'm a fun jungle gym cause I've got padding) I love that when he see's me in the morning he will get a huge smile and then fall into the corner of his crib and be all shy. I love that he holds my figures while we are just sitting there because he's got to be touching me. I ache when I dont' get to be near him during the day and everything in the world will be better the minute I get him back with me.
Dean is ticklish on his back and neck and he does the same thing I do when he gets excited he puts his hands near his mouth...dont' ask me where that comes from. Its something I've always done.
Dean gets this really high pitched scream when he gets excited. Its hilarious and lately he's been doing this grunting thing when he things something is fun or somewhat funny.

I think that's about it for now. Absolutely love this boy and so very thankful Heavenly Father blessed us with him.

A Boy and his Dog

Dean and Tanner absolutely love each other. If you remember Tanner took to Dean right off the bat and laid down with him while I was on maternity leave. Tanner likes to go outside with him and walks around/over him when he's playing. He loves when Dean is eating, I'm convince Tanner thinks Dean is purposely giving him treats. ;) 

Well last week Tanner left for a breeding session and was gone for a week. We came home Monday, unloaded the car and let Tanner out of his crate. I had taken Dean out of his chair already and put him down to let him crawl around and Tanner came right in, went strait for Dean and laid right next to him. and there they sat for a good five minutes. Do you see Deans face? He is so excited to have his Tanner back!  I love it!

Sorry the pictures are such poor quality ....they are blown up from phone pics.

Water

What is the body made up of? Water
What cools us off?  Water
What cleans us and our things? Water
What quenches our thirst?  Water
What regulates our bodies systems? Water
What does our body crave when its starting to shut down?  Water
What is free? Water
Where can we find it? Everywhere


Man, God sure did plan that one out pretty well. :)   And the frequent trips the bathroom get my butt up and moving. Well played!

Mothers Day

Mothers Day!

Here are some of the things I got for moms day. First I have to tell you that Brian took Dean in the morning and even made me breakfast in bed! So I got to sleep in and everything. It was lovely!



Eggs, sausage and toast. YUM



This is what the kids made for me (do you know I just wrote girls before I realized I need to say kids now)!

This is Bethanie's 'About your Mom'  (do you see that I'm 16! woot woot)

This is from Bethanie as well it says: I love you mom and you are the best. I no that you are chrieiring (trying) to teach me. You take cair of us a lot. you look beautiful everea day. I wish you cud go to shcool with me.  
Isn't that precious?!

Breana made me a pen that looks like me. ;)

This is Dean Bean's feet and hands. I love it!

Juliet made this frame :) she also planted some flowers that are currently growing in a cup on my counter.



The girls made this at Church. Its all three of their hands. I think that it was a great idea! I love it.

We went to church and then went to my moms house where all the men folk cooked for us. It was good fun. I really appreciate my family and I don't need a specific day for me to know that they love me back but its always nice.   I hope all of you had a  happy moms day too!!!!!

Six Months!

Can you believe its already been six months since our precious baby boy came into our family and can I tell you he totally completes us!  Here are a few things that Dean liked, no longer likes, loves and hates. :)



Hi....Aren't I cute?

 When Dean was a baby he HAD to be wrapped and it was only tight enough when it got to the point when I felt claustrophobic just looking at him. Only then could he be comfy. And when you cuddled him he had to be smashed up against you barely able to move or he would freak out.... then all of the sudden one day (veterens day weekend actually) he stopped. He wanted to be free, wanted to be able to move around while he slept and that was the end of swaddling. Now he sleeps either on his stomach with his hands above his head (well as far as those little hands can reach, which is also exactly how his daddy sleeps) or on his back with his head cocked so far back you think his neck is about to break. Its odd and cute at the same time. Also an odd thing, Dean refuses to sleep on your shoulder. Its a rare moment when he finds it ok to cuddle with me like that and I soak it up. He almost always HAS to be laying down or in a reclined position. He loves his swing for a quick snooze too. Silly boy. He's so particular in his sleeping arrangements.

This is him sleeping with his head back...how that is comfortable I will never know.

Dean has transitioned to solids. He still nurses (thank goodness) I didnt' think he would with being bottle fed during the day and then getting solids...I mean why work for it when you can get stuff so easy. but I think most of the time he thinks of it as a comfort more then nourishment. However, with learning to eat solids he's learning to chew...so he likes to try to chew on his spoons and bottle lids......and mommy. We've had differences of opinions on wither this is ok or not. ;) He LOVES his food. He's a beefer and I love it. We've had to start mixing his foods with cereal to thicken it up so he doesn't go through three jars (kid you not...he's done it before) of baby food! But he's at a healthy weight and I just hope its a sign he got his daddy's metabolism...that would be such a blessing then I wouldn't have to worry about him struggling with his weight!



He chews on his bottom lip....oh my heck its so cute!



Dean has also started sitting up on his own. He's a tad wobbly and when he gets too excited he will go strait back but he's getting very good at it. He's also started giving baby kisses. Oh my heck I LOOOOVE baby kisses. Brian thinks its so gross and Dean refuses to give him kisses cause of his prickly beard...so mommy gets all the kisses...YAY! I can't get enough of them!

Here is a list of things Dean absolutely loves:

A blue monkey rattle - seriously he loooves this thing (I can't get my video to post so will post it tomorrow so you can see just how much he loves it) it cracks him up!

Tanner - Every time tanner walks in the room Dean is glued to him and wants to squeeze his ears or poke his nose. Tanner's so good and takes it like the good doggie he is.

Love me some bath time!

Bath time - he has so much fun in the tub, he likes the water and it will often calm him down if he's having a rough day. (again, I have a video of bath time I need to post when it will let me).

His daddy - He loves his daddy. He loves sitting with him, playing with him. walking around with him. Just doing guy stuff.

His mommy - He loves me too but in a different way...He always stares at me and honestly I dont' know what he's thinking but it always gives me a warm feeling and then he smiles at me like 'thats my mommy' and I just melt!

His sisters! - He LOVES to play with them. I think he's finally figured out that there is three and not two. for the longest time he would get soo confused when Breana and Bethanie would come around together. But he's learning to tell them apart. Juliet and him have a special bond. Juliet would rather spend time with him then play in her room or watch a movie with her sisters sometimes so she spends more time with him then the twins. They like to play with him but I think find him one dimensional. :)  Juliet on the other hand can't get enough of him and he of her. He gets the biggest smile when he sees her. its so great.

Dean has a smile and a laugh that can light up the room and I'm not just being bias! He really does. His smile takes up his whole face and he laughs with his whole being. Sometimes when he gets super excited he puts his hands in his mouth while he's laughing. cracks me up.

My smile lights up the whole room!

There really isn't much Dean doesn't like. Boogie sucking and being woken up when he's in the middle of a nap or in the morning, running out of food when clearly mommy should have known he wanted to eat like a horse...other then that...he's a pretty dang good baby!

I love my little boy and I can't believe its been six months already!!!!!!! He's growing up so fast, they all are.

Ok so like I said as soon as I can get those videos uploaded I'll post them. :)

  Your going to love this last one. Dean is a flirt. He knows how to wrack in that attention.. mostly with is smiles but this next face just cracks me up!!!!

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Hey....How you doin?

Our Tests

When I was younger I often wondered what would be my tests in life, cause lets face it back then when my poor body image was the greatest of my worries I had it pretty easy....but of course we always think life is the hardest thing ever when you are a teenager. But there were times I would wonder what I would be put through. I would sit there and imagine different scenarios and say yes I think I could go through that.

Now I have been tested. I've been tested in so many ways and can I tell you I did not see those coming?! It started with a divorce....never in a thousand years would I have thought I would go through a divorce and be a single mother, have to start dating over again and try to find a good, responsible, loving man who would want me and my daughter. But I did do it. It hurt like H*$# but I went through it and came out stronger.

I still continue to struggle with my weight....always have, always will. However I am beginning to like myself. I look in the mirror and have those 'uck you're so gross' days! but for the most part I can look in the mirror and say 'wow you look pretty today', I attribute a lot of that to me being more confident and strong, surgery and of course my dear loving husband who makes me feel pretty all the time.

And the other struggle....being a step mom. NEVER in a million billion zillion years did I ever think I would ever have an issue being a step mom....are you serious right now? If you would have come up to me three years ago and said 'You're going to have issues with this" I would have looked at you and said "NO!" with every fiber of my being. But now that I'm here......I can't tell you the daily struggle I go through.

Let me be clear here. In no way am I putting the blame on the children...they are children and through no fault of their own they have come to have issues connecting the way most children should and therefore have problems with lying, common sense and downright brutal defiance. Especially with me who came into their life and changed things around. So I find myself everyday literally having a battle within myself. Every morning I wake up wanting with everything I am to be a good mom and to be the mom they want and deserve, then failing at it and then feeling guilty and angry because I could not.

I can not tell you how many times I've gone into the bathroom and bawled with frustration at them and at me...at the whole situation. How on God's green earth can someone have an issue being a mother? I ask you that...I ask myself that every single day? I would not blame you if you read this post and find me horrible person.....I think that often enough. I just needed to get it out so there it is. My test right now and I won't lie, probably for years to come (since they will be in our house for at least another 11 years....yes sometimes I count the days) is the daily internal struggle, no not struggle, down right war with these emotions and thoughts and failings. Its one of the hardest things I've ever had to do!

some peoples test are different from others and you would think that this should not be so much of an issue. I would have thought so too. But it is...for me at least. I'm still not sure why. Well that's not true...there are reasons but I'm working through them with a therapist so are invalid since they will be corrected and someday, God willing, not be an issue anymore. Because frankly I hate this. I hate that I can't be what I know I should be, what I want to be, what they deserve and I am sorry for it.

I hope to write a post one day to tell everyone how I overcame this and how my children and I have fantastic relationships now and that all of this is over and done and will be another check mark on the completed side of passed tests! That is my hope and my prayer.

No matter how trivial you think you're test is......if it hurts, if its hard, it is a test none the less and yours to get through but that does not mean that it is any less hard and you do not have to go through it silently. I write about mine because that is how I can get through it sometimes. (along with some outstanding friends and family!) Things will get better...they have to. Definitely not this very minute, probably not this day or week or even month...but slowly bit by bit it will......it has too! It has too!

SEVEN!!!

******* Disclaimer: I wrote this Blog on Friday and totally forgot to post it! UGH**********

Today my baby girl is seven....yes I still call her baby girl and probably will till the day she tells me not too and even then it might slip out every once in a while, because frankly I'm the mom and I can. :)
Juliet is becoming such a wonderful young lady! She has such a sense of humor, she is constantly cracking me up. she talks like an adult and is always surprising me on the little things she knows and the ideas she comes up with.

Juliet loves having sisters, but she ABSOLUTLELY adores her little brother and he just can not get enough of her. They already have a special bond I can already tell they will be very close for the rest of thier lives. She is such a huge help to me and never complains and always asks if she can help with the dishes or help with Dean.

Juliet wants to be a Vetanarian when she grows up as well as a teacher. She loves to color and create things. She is one to want to be in charge (she gets that from me), She has a bit of an attitude that pushes people (also from me) but loves life and everyone in it!
Sometimes she is the one that keeps me from the edge of insanity! She keeps me grounded, laughing, on my toes and thinking and I just can't express enough in words how much I love her!

So thank you baby girl, for letting me be your mom, for forgiving me my mistakes and helping me grow. For loving me everyday and making me love being a mommy.


Love you Juliet!!!!!

I"m here

well kind of. I've been sooo busy at work and home. Frankly I don't have time to close my eyes let alone blog. I do plan on bringing you a few post coming soon. Not that I have a ton of readers. ;)


so stay tuned and know I'm still alive....barely but I am.

Um...I think she might be obsessed

I found this sign by Juliets door last night......I do believe my daughter is obsessed.....with meatballs. If you remember a previous post. Juliet thought Dean was as cute as a little meatball. odd but ok. :) now this. haha

Sign says = (in case you don't read six year old)
Stay out please if you are nice in my room and give me a meatball next to the sign. turn over

This is (I'm assuming) her sisters hailing her with the all coveted meatball.

2 Little Girls

So what happens when two little girls ask to play a game on mommy's phone and mommy forgets how tech savey kids are now a days........crazy pics on the phone that won't be discovered for a few days. :D hehe....enjoy

That would be Bethanie and Juliet. silly kids.

Baby Giggles

Baby Giggles. Dean has been smiling for a long time now but just recently he started doing full blown giggle/laughs. Especially when I kiss him on his neck or tickle his back. I absolutely love it and crave it. He's also started talking and he thinks he is one funny kid...can I say. haha. He cracks himself up all the time. Its cute.

But when I'm having a bad day or I feel overwhelmed or I think I just can't handle one more minute of the situation I'm in.......out comes a baby giggle and the world melts away, my stress disappears and for the one brief moment I am completely care free. I am so very blessed to have that right now. It means so very much to me, its helped me more then anyone could possible know. ....Well I think Heavenly Father knows and that's why he let me have him and I am truly grateful for it.

Like a what?!

I'm sitting on the couch, kissing all over Dean. Juliet is sitting next to me smiling at him when I give enough slack for him to see anything but my face. I say "you're so dang cute!" Juliet says "he is cute" I say "He is, isn't he?" and she says....."ya like a little meat ball!"

me holding Dean mid air while giving Juliet the sideways 'did I just hear you right' look. She looks at me and says 'meat balls are so cute'.


only my child. :) lol

One of those.....weekends?

Ever have one of those days were nothing particularly big goes wrong but a whole bunch of little things build up.....ever have a whole weekend of them? I'm sure it was not as bad as I'm making it out to be, but low sleep, no food and a invalid husband might have been a factor.

Brian got his wisdom teeth pulled on Friday...the poor thing hurt all weekend. So he was in bed! I got a fill in my lapband so I am on liquids for three days and soft foods for two. (which always makes me slightly cranky...cause I love me some food)! Dean decided to start waking up every hour and a half instead of his five hour stretches, then I can usually fall asleep right away...but no last night, oh no that would be too nice. I couldn't fall asleep for nothing! Tanner ate one of the baby bottles (which peeved me off) but then it made his stomach upset all night so I was up with him last night too. One of my children was giving me trouble all weekend long....Just not listening...but that's nothing new!

I worked at the Pioneer this weekend where an older lady asked me when my baby was due, then when I told her I had him three months ago, she says "it will come".....um thanks! jerk!!

then on my way to work this morning something hit my car...I pulled over to make sure I didn't pop a tire or anything but could not for the life of me figure out what I had it. I mean it was still dark outside and I didn't remember seeing an animal. So I'm half way through Washoe Valley....just thinking when I think about how I can't wait to finish my chapter on my nook.....nook...did I put that in my bag, no cause I needed to get the car seats from Brian's car...so I put it...........on. top. of. my. car! Yes my friends I ran over my nook.

Brian found it...its beyond repair, but he got accident insurance on it so hopefully its covered!

So that is my weekend in a nut shell....no sleep, no food, no patience and no nook! All I can do is laugh at this point cause I'm clearly on the verge of a break down! ugh.

well thank you

10 days ago I started the Food Lovers Fat Loss program. Its basically a program that teaches you how to eat instead of just telling you what to eat. You still get to eat all your favorite foods, just in different combinations (proteins, slow carbs and fast carbs) and you have to eat every 2-3 hours (which I thought was going to be easy but turns out to be a difficult thing for me)! Anyway, my metabolism is revved and I do seem to be getting more energy! I also have to drink TONS of water and get lots of sleep on this program......what?! sleep? hecks ya sign me up! :D I"m still working on that one . lol

So I've been on it for 10 days. There is a 21 day induction phase where you reset your metabolism and learn the ways to keep it going, then you switch over to the long term program which helps you keep it off permanently. There is no special foods I have to get only from that company, there is no counting calories or figuring out points. Its great and its something I can do and incorporate into my families diets. Like tonight we are having meatloaf, mashed taters and salad.....does that sound like diet food to you?! nope but its helping me slim down. woot woot.

for the first 21 days. I am not allowed on the scale and its killing me. I want to know so bad if I've lost pounds. I think I have cause my clothes are getting a little looser AAAND my co workers are telling me that I look like I"m losing weight! well thank you! :D

I'll keep you updated....whoever might be reading this lonely corner of the Internet I possess.

Growing up

The other on the way home Juliet started singing along to the songs on the radio....and knew some to most of the words. It took me by surprise. Then when I picked the girls up at the boys and girls club I saw them with a little passe playing a game and they were having a very serious grown up conversation about homework and classmates.

I mean I know the girls are 6/7 but when did they turn into little preteens? I think back to my days at that age and boy did I think I was all kinds of grown up already! And I see it in them when they are off doing their own thing. Its kinda fun....and scary at the same time. One of these days the scales are going to tip and they will no longer be my little girls but young women and I just don't know what I will do with myself then! But for now I'll try to keep them independent but not too grown up....for mommy's sake. ;)

Smell and Sounds of Winter

When you think about the smells and sounds of winter you probably think - Pine needles, Christmas cookies, Apple Cider, Pumpkin Bread, Church bells, Carolers, Christmas songs, Laughing children.......

yes you may think of those things because mostly that is the case.....want to know what it is for me right now? Pinesol, Lysol, disinfecting wipes, hand sanitiser, cough drops, coughing, sniffling, sneezing and wheezing children.

Yup for the second round in only the last month our whole house is sick again! I feel especially bad for Dean because he can't take anything for his poor little nose and cough. Its heartbreaking and I hate it!

I really really hope this all goes away soon!