What a weekend!

so that House warming party I was so excited about....it was actually a surprise anniversary party for my parents (we did it a tad early) who will be together for 30 years come September 12. Isn't that amazing?! 30 years! They have 10 children, a wonderful home and great friends and family to show for those 30 years. They are so accomplished and full of love and giving. I just don't' know how they do it sometimes. So we wanted to do something wonderful.... so Deborah suggested a party and off we went.

My dear mother who is constantly going going going put us through a few loops over the few months we were planning. Always trying to go out of town or do something that would interfere with the party or that weekend. It's comical to think of now actually.

So Friday Deborah, Tyler and little cuteness came from a long trip from Idaho. Deborah and I hit the store to get a picture of our parents wedding blown up for them.....that was interesting in its self. While a few of my sibs and a good friend helped do stuff at home. Then it was rush rush rush as people started arriving. We had a good turn out about 30 all together and my parents were surprised. Mom cried (which is always fun right. hehe) and dad was smiley.

As part of the gift we had secretly gotten all the kids clothes and good stuff to the house in bits and pieces so they could spend the night. So we sent our parents home to a night and day with no children. Can you imagine how quiet that house was?! :) Ours was not. ha with 8 yes 8 kids all under the age of 7 and two preggers in the house........it was interesting to say the least. :) I'm glad Brian, Tyler, Rina and Beck were there to help! Mom and Dad spent the whole day doing all grown up stuff.....like shopping for things that don't involve diapers or sippy cups and having lunch and what not. I hope they enjoyed their alone time! then they came over to the house and had pizza.

Deborah got to stay until Monday. we took pregger pictures it was fun. :) and then they had to leave and I was super sad. I held it in for most of the day. Poor Brian got the brunt of it when he came out to the backyard to find out what I was doing all my myself and all I could do was answer in choking sobs. He was good though, just hugged me and let me cry. I miss my sister a lot more then I let myself think. but I"m so glad we get to be sisters forever, that is comforting. :)

And now here I am Tuesday, with a somewhat quiet house and back in the routine of things. I think I might have caught some kind of flu or something....I've been sick all day but I don't mind, it was so worth seeing my sis, bro-in-law and little cuteness, spend time with my younger siblings and do something for our parents. It wasn't nearly enough, they deserve so much more!

All in all it was an awesome weekend!

YAY

We are having a party at our house tomorrow night and I am so excited for it. I get to show off my new house. :D

Yes I need to clean and will probably have a mess on sat....but who cares! I've always wanted to have a house I can entertain in, like my parents do. They have wonderful get togethers and they make awesome memories! I can't wait to start that with my home and family!

Yaaaaay!

What? How can that be?

I had a very......um......well lets just say the morning was not going my way! I had a discussion about what most people end up arguing or getting frustrated over the all too evil MONEY with a dear loved one. I could see their point but could not understand why they were just simply choosing not to even look at my point!

So I turned to another dear loved one, who often counsels me in the most awesome ways, and I was reminded that not everyone thinks like I do.......WHAT?! How can that possibly be? One - everyone should think like me because lets face it....I am pretty dang awesome and Two - even if you don't think like me right away.....um get with the program and start! for reals yo!

But the more I talked with loved one with advice the less annoyed I got with loved one from this morning.

So I am truly grateful that I talked with her and can see it from that point of view...don't get me wrong this is not going to be the last time a 'miscommunication' is going to happen with in out relationship but it was nice to have the advice instead of letting it fester and get worse!

Just needed too

So this morning was one of those mornings, the kids were not listening, whiny and just down right not working with me....I was in a mood, I usually am in the morning cause I dread the drive to Carson. I try not to show it and often spend most of the morning getting myself ready and letting the girls be. They are getting good at getting dressed, brushing their teeth and doing their hair in time for mom to emerge from her cave to get on the road. :) but this morning we were all on edge...just pushing each others buttons like no body's business.

So....I, in my momentary lack of wisdom, blew up. Just yelled that it was the last straw and we all needed to get it together or else.

or else what? I have no idea but they didn't' even question it. They heard the tone, the volume and saw my face.

we started driving and about half way through washoe valley I realised I felt a lot better. In fact I felt great. so I asked the girls if they wanted to listen to princess songs, of course they got excited and sang their little hearts out. I hummed some and smiled a little at how much I felt better. I've been trying to be super patient lately and I think I was just holding too much in instead of working on one thing at a time. I think the girls realized that too cause they were much more willing with their hugs good bye this morning. It was nice.

guess sometimes you just need too. Of course I do not plan on making this a permanent thing and now that I realize I need to let some of my frustration out on something besides yelling to make myself feel better (and not bottle it up in hopes it will just melt out the end of my feet while I'm sleeping). I used to get a lot out during my work out...but am unable to do that so much lately. Maybe a nightly lone walk or an extra half hour mumbling under my breath at my piano lessons...something exerting yet refreshing. :)

we will see. I do love epiphanies.

Favorite times of day....

I have two favorite times of day. The half hour I get up before the rest of the house....yes my eyes are still half shut, my feet drag on the floor like they are made from cement and I'm probably the sight with bed head, a half tied bath robe and me itching my backside for no reason other then that's what one does with the one working hand....for all I know I could be trying to itch my head or shoulder but my arm is still sleeping enough and my body not awake enough to notice what is being scratched. So you must wonder why this is one of my favorite times, because the house is absolutely silent, I can hear every thought in my head....its the part of the day I can say to myself - I will be a better person today - and its quiet enough for myself to hear. I can say my prayers in absolute peace and listen for those few minutes for my answers and peace. Its nice. When I am able to again, I will probably extend this time and put in a little work out time for me, myself and baby-belly. :D

Now dont' get me wrong, I live for the organized chaos that is my family....I mean how could you not! :) but I do enjoy that half hour of just me!

Second favorite time of day...between seven pm and around ten pm. Between seven and eight the girls are ready for bed, homework done, showers done, jammies on, hair and teeth brushed and all is quiet cause they are either watching a movie, coloring or playing around in their rooms...once they go to bed at eightish until tenish, its me and hubby time. We watch movies or peruse the Internet, or he will play with tanner while I read my book. We talk about important things and non-important things. Laugh with each other or talk about an issue we had with each other during the day. Or just simply be, he still lets me snuggle up close to him and lay all over him even though I'm sure I cut off circulation and then complain that its too hot. :) we can lay around for an hour like that....just doing nothing but enjoy being together. I love it. I love all the one on one time we spend together, I can never get enough of that time with him and hope it last through out this lifetime and the next.

I hope and pray for my children to find someone to love and love them as much as their daddy and I do each other...I wish everyone that. It really is one of the greatest blessings Heavenly Father has ever let us have and I'm grateful he has allowed me to experience it!

so there you have it - my two favorite times of day.

My sanity

I've decided for my sanity and for the sanity of my family...that I am going to look into a group or consider therapy for myself. Now...before I go any further I want to emphasize that I love my children. They are smart, lovely and always good for a giggle. However, I am having a harder time then I thought I would adjusting to being a step parent. I don't know why this is. So many of my family members are able to take in children wither it be through adoption, step parenting or just plain old taking in neighbour hood kids. They are able to show love to them and while I'm sure get frustrated with them at times can still convey how great they are and how much they are loved.

I can think it throughout the day or when they walk by I think to myself I should tell them I love them....but it never comes out of my mouth....and I just don't know why. I find myself getting frustrated with them or irritated they aren't doing something I think they should be. If J comes to watch a show with me and the other two come in to watch with us, instead of thinking 'ok mommy/kid time' I get a tad annoyed that they invaded our time. How incredibly wrong is that?! And then when I do find them fun or helpful or they are just plain being awesome kids and not causing me any troubles I just can't get the praises out of my mouth. It turns into a fleeting thought and that's it. No praises from momma.

I feel like the evil step mother and one day they are going to notice and one day they are going to stop giving me hugs and stop attempting to show me they love me. One day I'm going to lose them and then I will turn around and wonder what happened to my babies and why don't' they come around anymore. I don't' want that. They deserve more.

You will probably find me heartless and cold or even mean...I won't blame you. I tell myself that all the time....but I just don't know how to fix it. I'm stuck and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to make it better.....on my own. So I will look into a group for step-parents or personal therapy. Something to help me cope with this issue, which is so clearly me.

first time

when you reach a certain age you don't get very many 'first' or big 'firsts' at that....but Saturday I got to do a big 'first' and I loved it. :)

I had to fill out a survey and on the survey was one of those standard questions:

Do you: Rent, Own, Lease or Other Your home.

I'm used to Renting or other....but I stopped with a slight jolt and with a huge smile on my face got to circle OWN I own a home. (yes the bank technically own it...but for all intents and purposes its ours!).

It was very exciting for me. :)

Outy?

The last time I was preggers I was a big girl...I mean extremely overweight so needless to say my belly button never did that popping out you're done cooking thing. Heck I was happy to even know I had a belly button. This pregnancy, while still overweight I was not crazy big and was toning down quiet a bit. I got out of the shower last night and started lotionaning up my baby bump when I noticed something odd.....yes....that would be my belly button feeling a bit odd. I waddled over to the mirror and hey what do you know...My belly button is coming out. Its not all the way out and I highly doubt it will in the next 12 weeks but it was somewhat exciting to me.

I was small enough for my belly button to be able to be actually pushed out. woot woot.

I still feel huge and sometimes unattractive and my dear husband is so patient and loving always telling me how much he loves me and what a hotty he thinks I am. So that helps a lot too!

Dancing

Saturday we went to a reception. The girls were itching to go dancing so a soon as they opened it up for everyone to dance, they hit it. they were having a grand time.

Bethanie made fast friends with another little girl and danced with her. :)

This is Juliet and Breana showing off their moves. You go girls.

At one point in the night, Juliet was quiet upset because no one would dance with her....so after a few hugs and wiped tears she went over to daddy with a puppy dog look and grabbed his hand. He took her out on the dance floor and well.....the picture just says it all. I wish it was bigger so you can see the full effect!

Does that not just make you melt?! Its one of my favorite pictures and will be burned in my mind for a very very long time. I love my husband! I love my kids!