Where we are today

for some time now, my husband and I have had tough luck when it comes to income. I, being with the state have the blessing of a steady job with a regular income. Jason has had the unfortunate task of trying to find a job/career to supplement our income so we can get by. The poor thing is bounced from job to job. He is such a hard worker, it just has never turned out for him. But everything happens for a reason right? He is now truck driving and aside from the fact that he misses us dreadfully, likes driving and the pay has the potential of being very good. So we are hoping and praying that this will get us by until he can find something that he truly loves. now back to everything happens for a reason....
since we have been in the down and outs we have learned a few things about ourselves and how to get by. For instance...we do not have cable. we have channel 2 but that is it. I never thought we would be able to do that. We don't have a land line phone or the Internet and up until a few days ago we had pay as you go phones. we only use one car and if we want to go out we wait until we have a coupon or find the deals. Now these little cut backs have not completely taken us out of the whole...not by a long shot but boy do they help. My parents have helped us out tremendously and i don't think we would have made it if it weren't for them. Our church has also helped us out with food supplies. But for the most part I purchase the bare minimum for food, sew Juliet's and our old cloths...little things like this.
Wednesday I was talking to another lady from our church and she was asking me how things were going. I told her they are going as usual. It was funny because we were talking about how the middle class can no longer afford to live middle class but do not qualify for help because 'on paper' they make to much money, how they are having such a hard time with this and it is really hitting them hard. I told her we have been living like that for so long that it isn't a shock for us. I have always made to much money (on paper) to qualify for WIC or housing help. We've been there.....still there. :) However, this really hit me just yesterday. Jason and I went to wal-mart to get some lunch supplies for Juliet, when on our way out we saw a man standing by his car, which was obviously his home. In it was a dog and I think I spied a pair or two of small eyes in the back. (it was all covered so I really couldn't see, plus we weren't looking) but he was standing there with a sign that read "family in need of help....anything would be a blessing". Now I felt very impressed to give this gentlemen a few dollars 'wait what dollars? arent we poor too?'.....'well, almost...but not there yet'. so I ask Jason to turn around and give the guy 5 bucks. when we get closer I expect to see what we all expect to see...some older man who hasn't shaved or bathed, with the look of booze on him, tattered clothes and a look of 'just give me the money and leave me a lone' on his face. This was most definitely not the case. He was clean, younger and very timid. his face did not say give me the money and leave but very much said what his board had said 'my family is sinking and there is absolutely nothing I am able to do about it' with a side of 'I am so ashamed, I can barely stand myself'
'good gracious' I think to myself as he is telling Jason thank you and God bless him 'that could be us right there....they look just like us'
It was a huge eye opener and still brings a lump to my throat, to know that we are truly blessed not to be in that situation and humbling to know that we are but a few paychecks away from being in such a place. No, my family would never let us come to that kind of situation...but the only difference is I would be wearing (and have been at times) that look for my family and not for the general public.
Times are tough and it is hard to see my fellow man suffer so. Not just the ones who usually fall into this place but the one who thought this could never happen to them and find themselves lost and with nothing. I pray for them and hope that our country can fix itself and soon! Until then I hope I am still in the position to share my meager but give-able blessings...in whatever form they come in.