I'm back

Well hello there,

so I became an anti blogger for a bit, some emotional stuffs going on in my mind, soul and emotions and really I just didn't want to write things that might be regretful later. :) but I think I'm doing better now. ...not that I have that much to talk about or anything you might be interested in reading. I mean, no one has noticed I've been gone for a year...why come back to my lonely corner of cyber world now.

Juliet is growing up so fast I can barely keep up. every time I turn around she's grown an inch or I mistake her for a random teenager and my mind literally has to scream at me and say "no thats your daughter" I just love her to bits and of course am more and more terrified that I'm raising her incorrectly. that one day she will ask my why I didn't do better, why I couldn't have seen how much I was messing her up. Thats my biggest fear.

Dean is growing fast too. He's not so much my baby as my little spunky boy and I just love him to pieces. I couldn't have asked for a better son! He's funny as all get out!

They both make me want to get up in the morning, make me want to be a better person, make me want to try and terrify me to no end.   Parenting does that to you. You never understand the true understanding of full responsibility, terror and love then you do when you become a parent. You're whole worlds shifts and its terrifying and wonderful all at the same time.

Not sure why I picked that as my first 'come back' blog. I really didn't have an idea of what I was going to say. only that I wanted to blog again. It will come back to me. I hope anyway.