The end of the beginning

On this day last month Dean was born. So here is his story. I will spare you the other details ;) other then say Dean was conceived in love with the man I can't imagine my existence with out. I was so excited to be pregnant and we both prayed for a boy. Then came the joys of pregnancy...I was sick for almost five months, living off of protein shakes and chicken nuggets.

Brian was a doll and even rubbed my back a few times while I puked yet again on an empty stomach. Not my finest moments! and I thought it would never end. Everyday I would get up to go to work and pray I wouldn't puke in my car that I would be able to make it to the office. A couple times I would work my second job which is bar tending for the local theatre and some of the customers would come over smelling of assorted drinks and snacks and it would take everything I had not to yak right there at the bar!

Then one day my sickness subsided and I was overjoyed....until the next wave of joy came along. Hurting joints and hips. My hips hurt so bad I thought it would be better to just rip them off and go thru the rest of my life legless! There were days I couldn't get out of bed without Brians help and it still took me several tries because of the pain.

But through it all I watched my belly grow and round out. :) and I felt my precious baby moving. It really is an awe inducing moment to know that you are carrying a living being inside you...not only carrying but growing. That you are the only one that can give this child what it needs and protect it completely. And even though I was super sick and I hurt sooo badly. I wanted to keep him for as long as possible.

I was due October 28th, but because it was a scheduled C-section they had me come in for the surgery on October 21st. I worked up to the 20th and can I tell you I cried the night before because I wasn't ready to be apart from him. I know I would have him but I wanted it to be just me and him still...I wasn't' ready to share. Brian was though. He was so ready to see his boy.

So morning of surgery. I woke up at 3am to eat a meal...I couldn't eat for 8-9 hours before surgery so I had a bowl of cheerio's with banana's. I played on the Internet and then went back to bed. A few hours later we got the girls up and drove them to boys and girls club. Then we tinkered around a bit and then made it to the hospital for our 11am check in.

They got me in a little pre op room where both Brians parents and mine met us to see us off to surgery. so one of the awesome things about having a baby is you get to get poked and prodded all the time. I was getting an IV....easy right? they give IV's all the time. Nope...not in my family. The nurse started on my left hand and was digging and digging and finally found the vain....but once she put in the needle to the vain she hit a nerve. I thought I was going to die. It was one of those pains where you couldn't even scream right away because it literally took your breath away! My mother in law took one look at my face and told the nurse that wasn't going to work. I"m so glad she was watching me and told her that or else she might have kept going! so they took it out and re did it on my right wrist. Do you know to this day if you touch my left wrist the wrong way that hit nerve still flares up and hurts. Its insane.

Finally the doc came in, we chit chatted with her for a bit. I love my doctor, she is simply amazing. and then off to the surgery room we went. Brian went one way and I went the other. He had to put on his fancy scrubs and they had to get me all prepped.

As I sat on the table while they did the epidural, I realized without a doubt this was the last one I was having. Not that the epidural was super painful or anything. It just brought back the memories of what I was about to put my body thru and I knew without a doubt I was done. I had an inkling before but this was absolute. So I was numbed up and ready to go. Brian finally came in and sat next to me. He had his camera at the ready. :D

At 1:53 they cut into me and started getting all the nasty stuff out of the way. I could hear the docs giving their doc lingo about what they were cutting and fluid volume and color. I kept looking at Brian and he kept squeezing my hand and smiling. At 1:54pm they pulled him out and we heard his first little cry. It bring tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I told Brian to go cause he wanted to tape all he could. So off he went to be with Dean and there I lay being sewn up. I could hear him crying and whimpering and every fiber of my being wanted to be reconnected to him to make him safe and warm and make the hurt go away. I was instantly in love with him as I was with Juliet. My life was yet again changed forever!

After getting him all cleaned up and cleared out Brian brought our baby over to me to see. We looked at him like what he was, the most precious gift we had been given on this earth and we were the luckiest parents in the world. A little while later I kissed my boys good bye so they could get situated and I could finish getting repaired.

I was wheeled into my room, which was humangous. I will post pictures of that probably tomorrow. And was able to hold my baby for the first time. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The absolute love and trust they have for you is indescribable. They way they recognise your voice and grow attached to you all over again and me to him. Its something no one can really describe until you've been through it. New Born's are simply amazing and such a miracle.

The rest of the day was us watching him, him watching us. ....a few dozes here and there and of course the food network. :D

I will tell the rest of our stay tomorrow and probably the day after that I will tell you of the other 'adventure' we got to go thru. But for now I think I've yacked your eyes off enough for today...plus I've got a little one who is vying for my attention!

Happy One month baby boy!