hard time

Over the last year and a half, I have worked really hard to get my out of control weight down. I was actually only 25-30 pounds away from my goal weight when I got pregnant. Now I know you can't lose weight while pregnant and in fact about the only time the doctors encourage it full force. So one would think I would be all over that right? I mean I've been overweight for a very long time...why wouldn't I be ok with an excuse to not have to hard core exercise every single day and eat nothing but chicken, fish and salad? and hearing the doctors actually say "yay you gained 5 pounds...great!"

But its not like that! can I tell you I have had one of the hardest times ever accepting the scale and the off hand comments insensitive people make about getting big. I know people think its ok cause hey...you're suppose to be getting bigger. You're growing a baby for goodness sakes! I should understand that!! but no, every time someone says, even jokingly, that my butt is big or I need more room in the car, or comment on how I"m starting to waddle....its not cute.

Most of the time I can laugh it off with them, ignore it or just let it fume and then fizzle out....but sometimes, especially on a particularly emotional day or when I just dont' feel that attractive that day, it just gets to me and then I start crying and of course makes me even more angry cause I'm crying over something trivial.

I don't know why this didn't bother me as much the first time around. probably cause I was already HUGE and didn't care that I was, wasn't particularly in the mood or mind set to be healthy and hadn't worked so hard to get the weight off, so I simply didn't notice or care about the comments. I also think I'm just tired right now and this is the month where the baby doubles in size so of course I double in size and the comments come so I hear it more often. I just needed to let it out and I'm sure I"m guilty of doing it to other pregnant woman and you just simply dont' think about the effects....but I will from now on.

Can I just say...

That this commute to Carson everyday is just about killing me. I'm sooo tired. I didn't realize it would take this much out of me.

I'm probably just tired anyway and this is making it worse. Hopefully I will just get used to it.


Just wanted to complain for a second...now I'm done. :)

only one thing...

Only one thing needs to be said today....

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so many

So many exciting things are happening in our little world. My office is moving to Carson, while this is not the most exciting news, I am happy I will be able to see my family and Carson friends a bit more. Plus all the activities I want to put the girls in like swimming and such are cheaper there. :) I just sent in their registration paperwork to attend Fremont so that is on its way. woot....1st grade...can you believe they will be in 1st grade?! This umpcoming week we find out what kind of little one we will be expecting in the fall. A lot of people around us are having boys and I hope the trend keeps up. ;~) we will see. Don't worry I will definitely be posting that grandness!

Some other stuff is in the works but I really don't want to put it out there yet until all is said and done. I'm just so thankful and excited that all this is falling into place, is all I can say.

I'm thankful to my Heavenly Father for allowing me to have this family and all the blessings in our lives lately. They are un-numbered and I just can't even explain how grateful and happy I am right now (course that could be baby hormones and tomorrow could be completely different haha....but I don't think so).